Sunday, November 27, 2005

A Night In The E.R.

I cried. I silently wept as I heard the news. News that had nothing to do with me or my family. Thanks to this peculiar human trait called empathy, I cried when I overheard the doctor tell a family that their loved one would not survive the night. The doctor suggested that they take turns saying their good-byes. As I checked on my mom, I saw them file in to the exam room one-by-one and walk out in silence.

What it must be like to be that doctor. I would be a blubbering mess if I had to deliver news like that with any regularity. Do they suppress their empathy? Did they ever have it to begin with? There must be some defense mechanism that protects them fr0m the sadness they see everyday. Maybe it is balanced by good news. My sister is a pediatrician who handles emergency room cases. She said that, until our mother got sick, she didn't realize how cold she had been to worried parents. One of my aunts is a radiation oncologist. She cries when she talks about her patients who didn't make it and I am sure that's what makes her such a loving and caring doctor.

We were lucky to have mom healthy and energetic for turkey day to share it with our closest friends and family members. By Friday morning, however, her condition deteriorated. I called home to find her semi-lucid and slurring her speech. Perhaps she took too much morphine, but something didn't seem right. I went over there, got her dressed and headed to the E.R. By the time we arrived, she was hallucinating.

Labs were normal, x-ray was normal. CT scan of the brain showed the possibility that she had mini strokes. The doctor told us that, in her condition, any one of many things could set in. A big stroke, a seizure, heart failure, etc. He offered to keep her overnight for observation but said there would be little they can do if any of these things happen. My father, my sister and I agonized over the decision. Out of their earshot, I asked the doctor bluntly, "essentially, are we choosing between her dying here or dying at home"? "Yes", he responded.

I made the decision. The doctor discharged my mom from the hospital and sent us home with a smile of sadness, as if he could see through a crystal ball things he knew he should not say. It is hard to sleep, wondering if she will be with us in the morning, wanting to make sure everything is okay. I cry for my mom as I see her suffer. I cry for my father, wondering how he will handle the loss of his wife of over 30 years. I don't know if I even cry for my own loss. Thanks to this peculiar human trait called empathy, I cry enough for everyone else.


At 9:33 AM, November 27, 2005 , Blogger mrsleep said...


I pray that you find solace and strength in your family.

At 3:55 PM, November 27, 2005 , Blogger Stalin the Shark said...

Hey II,

I cried when I read this; be strong. There's some nice people in New York keeping you in their thoughts.

:-), StS

At 6:40 PM, November 27, 2005 , Blogger jj said...

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. You made the right decision no question.

At 10:15 PM, November 27, 2005 , Blogger chad said...

Hey Insurgent,
You know this post hits close to home for me. I see death all the time from that professional distance that's just far enough away to keep me from shedding tears publicly. Amazingly, it gives me no increased ability to cope with the personal losses in my life.
My prayers are with you as you continue to face this difficult time.
Yours in empathy,

"A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary."
~Dorothy Canfield Fisher

At 11:34 PM, November 27, 2005 , Blogger Free Agency Rules said...


I had a very heavy heart when I read this post. I remember when I received the news from my Mom that my Dad had died. I felt so guilty that I had not been there...still do feel guilty. He had survived cancer 7 years prior and received a clean bill of health, and so instead of flying 1500 miles to his side everytime there was a turn for the worse, I was sure he would beat it again. I refused to accept the enevidable. My Mom, bless her heart, consoled me by saying that in the last couple of weeks, he hardly recognized anyone. He had a brain tumor.

You will see her again, of this I am sure.

My prayers are with you also.

Your friend,


At 10:19 AM, November 28, 2005 , Blogger bombsoverbaghdad said...


My prayers are with you at this time. All I can say is tell your mother you love her as much as you can. Comfort her as she makes her transition and take solace in the fact that soon she will not be in pain any more.


At 2:57 PM, November 28, 2005 , Blogger Mahndisa S. Rigmaiden said...

11 28 05

II: Sorry to hear about these issues. I am really sorry to hear about your mother's ill health. We will all pray for your family to have the strength to get through this time and will be praying for you and hope that you experienced catharsis from writing this out. Take Care and think about the positive affect your mother has had on your life. Until then, I am sending some positive energy your way:)

At 8:40 AM, November 29, 2005 , Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

My mother too is moribund. I've spent nights in emergency rooms too and I'm still waiting for the inevitable.

No matter who we are, we all live this same life, don't we? It's empathy alone that makes us human.

At 9:48 PM, December 05, 2014 , Blogger oakleyses said...

polo ralph lauren, prada outlet, oakley vault, christian louboutin shoes, cheap oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet online, true religion, michael kors outlet, coach outlet, prada handbags, michael kors outlet online, chanel handbags, louis vuitton outlet, tiffany jewelry, gucci handbags, burberry outlet online, kate spade outlet, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet store online, michael kors handbags, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet online, tiffany and co jewelry, longchamp outlet online, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet store, louis vuitton, nike air max, longchamp outlet, red bottom shoes, true religion outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, jordan shoes, michael kors outlet online, nike outlet, ray ban outlet, christian louboutin, nike free, nike air max, burberry outlet online, kate spade outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, coach outlet, longchamp handbags, louis vuitton handbags, coach purses, christian louboutin outlet

At 9:51 PM, December 05, 2014 , Blogger oakleyses said...

converse pas cher, nike roshe run, hermes pas cher, nike roshe, true religion outlet, ray ban pas cher, north face, nike air force, guess pas cher, mulberry, scarpe hogan, hollister, true religion jeans, ralph lauren pas cher, ralph lauren, sac michael kors, burberry pas cher, hollister, louis vuitton pas cher, michael kors uk, oakley pas cher, air max pas cher, nike free, michael kors canada, louis vuitton, nike air max, sac vanessa bruno, nike air max, chaussure louboutin, north face pas cher, vans pas cher, air jordan, nike blazer pas cher, longchamp pas cher, sac louis vuitton, louis vuitton uk, lululemon, tn pas cher, longchamp, air max, ray ban uk, lacoste pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, timberland, new balance pas cher, barbour, nike free pas cher

At 9:57 PM, December 05, 2014 , Blogger oakleyses said...

babyliss, new balance outlet, replica watches, vans outlet, mcm handbags, celine handbags, beats headphones, nike trainers, nfl jerseys, giuseppe zanotti, jimmy choo shoes, ugg boots, birkin bag, asics shoes, canada goose outlet, ferragamo shoes, insanity workout, nike huarache, chi flat iron, hollister, abercrombie and fitch, uggs outlet, north face jackets, north face jackets, mac cosmetics, soccer jerseys, canada goose outlet, uggs outlet, uggs on sale, bottega veneta, instyler ionic styler, ugg boots clearance, nike roshe, valentino shoes, lululemon outlet, ugg, marc jacobs outlet, ugg outlet, longchamp, ghd, reebok shoes, ugg soldes, p90x workout, soccer shoes, wedding dresses, mont blanc pens, herve leger, canada goose outlet, canada goose

At 10:05 PM, December 05, 2014 , Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg, gucci, canada goose, iphone 6 case, hollister canada, vans, canada goose, swarovski uk, pandora jewelry, air max, ray ban, pandora charms, moncler, timberland shoes, moncler outlet, moncler, canada goose, replica watches, louis vuitton canada, uggs canada, coach outlet, juicy couture outlet, converse shoes, thomas sabo uk, nike air max, juicy couture outlet, ralph lauren, hollister clothing, moncler, hollister, supra shoes, louboutin, toms outlet, oakley, canada goose pas cher, parajumpers outlet, moncler, wedding dress, baseball bats, converse, swarovski jewelry, links of london uk, lancel, moncler outlet, pandora uk, karen millen, moncler, montre femme

At 6:53 PM, September 23, 2015 , Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 09.24
oakley sunglasses, tiffany jewelry, tory burch outlet, ray ban sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet online, michael kors outlet, replica watches, louis vuitton, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet, burberry, polo ralph lauren outlet, replica watches, michael kors outlet, christian louboutin outlet, oakley sunglasses, nike air max, gucci outlet, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet, ugg boots, tiffany and co, cheap oakley sunglasses, longchamp, longchamp outlet, prada outlet, ray ban sunglasses, louboutin outlet, prada handbags, ugg boots, nike air max, ugg boots, polo ralph lauren outlet, louis vuitton, louis vuitton outlet, ugg boots, nike outlet, michael kors, jordan shoes, louboutin

At 6:56 PM, September 23, 2015 , Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

burberry, new balance pas cher, michael kors, coach outlet, sac longchamp, true religion jeans, mulberry, oakley pas cher, ralph lauren pas cher, louboutin pas cher, ralph lauren uk, nike free run uk, north face, true religion jeans, michael kors, ray ban pas cher, true religion jeans, sac guess, nike air max, air jordan pas cher, vans pas cher, nike air max, nike free, tn pas cher, coach factory outlet, air max, coach purses, nike roshe run, chanel handbags, coach outlet, hollister pas cher, converse pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, north face, true religion outlet, nike blazer, hogan, kate spade outlet, hermes, longchamp pas cher, lululemon, nike air max, timberland, nike free, hollister, michael kors, michael kors, kate spade handbags, air force, ray ban uk, lacoste pas cher

At 6:59 PM, September 23, 2015 , Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

instyler, nike air max, oakley, ferragamo shoes, herve leger, jimmy choo shoes, nike huarache, giuseppe zanotti, celine handbags, mcm handbags, hollister, north face outlet, ray ban, beats by dre, hollister, converse outlet, vans shoes, nike roshe, hollister, soccer shoes, lancel, ralph lauren, louboutin, insanity workout, valentino shoes, new balance, wedding dresses, mont blanc, abercrombie and fitch, asics running shoes, reebok shoes, chi flat iron, longchamp, nike air max, nike trainers, north face outlet, converse, p90x workout, soccer jerseys, vans, timberland boots, mac cosmetics, lululemon, ghd, baseball bats, nfl jerseys, birkin bag, nike roshe, gucci, babyliss, iphone 6 cases, bottega veneta, vanessa bruno

At 7:01 PM, September 23, 2015 , Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

pandora jewelry, marc jacobs, moncler outlet, coach outlet, canada goose, replica watches, bottes ugg, michael kors outlet online, canada goose, pandora charms, wedding dresses, ugg boots uk, doudoune canada goose, canada goose outlet, moncler, karen millen, louis vuitton, moncler, links of london, pandora jewelry, moncler, michael kors outlet, toms shoes, moncler, barbour, ugg pas cher, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, louis vuitton, supra shoes, swarovski crystal, juicy couture outlet, montre pas cher, thomas sabo, doke gabbana outlet, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, canada goose, louis vuitton, moncler, sac louis vuitton pas cher, canada goose outlet, swarovski, michael kors handbags, hollister, canada goose uk, juicy couture outlet, moncler, moncler, canada goose, louis vuitton, barbour jackets, pandora charms
ninest123 09.24

At 6:07 PM, July 10, 2017 , Blogger Lamiss Ibrahim said...



Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home